Thursday, February 28, 2013
MY CHOICE TO FLOW IN UNCERTAIN PATHS
I've never understood lovers who chose to part.
Regardless of circumstance, shouldn't love conquer?
Now I see, I've been naive,
not seeing love's complications, the layers,
facets competing to shine, gradations, elevations,
levels of proximity to the heart.
Based on this, my choice has been made. Not huge
in the realm of all, but major enough.
I've decided to move, to adhere to the pull
of family versus the pull of habit and familiarity.
Each decision of love is a trade,
to get this, let go of that.
Logic flawed where emotions rule,
irrational conclusion seems most real.
The decision made, now to carry it out.
Frankly, I hardly know how it came about.
But, the process begins of saying goodbye,
to the desert house near my mountains -
I go closer to family,
true love and my blood.
In this transition I flow, and know
life treats us to little deaths, attempting
lessons for our final detachment.
Even little deaths are marked by fears,
by tears, a voyage to the unknown.
But, the decision made,
(Submitted to Poetry Jam.)
Yes, my husband and I have chosen to move closer to daughter, son-in-law and grandson. Their pull is strong. The transition will be gradual. We'll stay in a small townhouse we own here in town, until our home sells. We'll keep the townhouse and live intermittently between daughter and here. Mother-in-law is still here in a nursing home and we have many friends. Eventually, we'll probably leave for good. Guess, we're prolonging the inevitable. If this sounds a little crazy, it may be. It may only make sense in our irrational way of thinking. Wish me luck.
I haven't been posting much. I've been processing this decision, dealing with the trepidation, the letting go and the going. Also, imagining, hoping the future is good. No guarantees, right?