ONCE UPON A TIME, IN A NOT SO DISTANT REALITY, THERE WAS A TINY PLANET CALLED HTRAE. IT WAS SO SMALL IT COULD PROBABLY FIT IN ONE OF YOUR HEART CELLS. DURING ITS EARLY HISTORY, THE CREATURES OF OUTER HTRAE,WHO CALLED THEMSELVES EVOLS, THOUGHT THE PLANET WAS FLAT, BUT THEN SOME DISCOVERER DISCOVERED THAT IT WAS SHAPED LIKE A BOX. IT EVEN HAD A LID LIKE A BOX. THE PLANET HAD SOMETHING CALLED GRAVITUTY, WHICH MADE IT POSSIBLE FOR PEOPLE TO WALK ON THE BOX OR ABOVE IT OR AROUND IT. THERE WAS NO RIGHT SIDE UP OR UPSIDE DOWN, JUST HOWEVER YOU WANT. EVERYONE THOUGHT HTRAE WAS UTTERLY BEAUTIFUL AND THEY WERE INFINITELY GRATEFUL FOR IT. OF COURSE THERE WERE NO COUNTRIES IN HTRAE. ALL INHABITANTS LOOKED PRETTY MUCH THE SAME WHICH MADE THINGS A LITTLE BORING BY OUR STANDARDS, BUT THEY HAD NO STRIFE OVER DIFFERENCE OF RACES, OR COMPETITION OVER PERSONAL BEAUTY. INSTEAD, THEY FOCUSED MOST OF THEIR ATTENTION ON HAVING FUN AND THIS PROVIDED THEM INFINITE DIVERSITY. JUST ABOUT THE ONLY RULE IN OUTER HTRAE WAS TO HAVE FUN AND PLAY DAILY. THE MOST POPULAR GAME WAS "MAKE BELIEVE".
NOW A BOX IS USUALLY NOT FULFILLED UNLESS IT HAS SOMETHING IN IT. HTRAE WAS NO EXCEPTION. IT WAS BLESSED OR CURSED WITH A TYPE OF DUALITY UNKNOWN TO US. THERE WAS A DIFFERENT POPULATION INSIDE HTRAE, WHERE EVOLS COULD ONLY WALK ONE WAY AROUND A SMALL GLOBE WHICH HUNG MYSTERIOUSLY SUSPENDED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BOX. THESE EVOLS, DID NOT REALIZE THEY WERE EVOLS AND CALLED THEMSELVES SEIDOBS. THEY PREFERRED TO HAVE MANY RULES AND PLAY ONLY SOMETIMES, WHEN THEY THOUGHT THEY DESERVED IT. LIKE IF THEY HAD UPHELD ALL THE RULES ONE DAY, THE NEXT DAY THEY HAD EARNED THE RIGHT TO PLAY RING AROUND THE ROSIE OR PING PONG. THEY AGREED THEY MUST ONLY LAUGH RESPECTABLY - A WORD THEY MADE UP. THE INSIDE EVOLS SUSPECTED THERE WAS SOMETHING BEYOND THE BOUNDARIES OF THEIR WALLS, BUT THEY COULD NOT THINK OF WHAT IT COULD BE.
SINCE THE INSIDE EVOLS HAD SO MANY RULES IT WAS ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE NOT TO BREAK SOME RULE SOME TIME. FOR EXAMPLE, IT WAS FORBIDDEN TO PAINT THEIR HANDS A COLOR OTHER THAN DIRTUP. PAINTING ANY OTHER PART OF THE BODY WAS NOT ALLOWED. DIRTUP IS A BLEND OF PRAC AND NWORB - SOMEWHAT LIKE ...UH ...WELL, THE COLOR OF SHIT. BELIEVE IT OR NOT, IT WAS HARD TO ALWAYS PAINT THEIR HANDS DIRTUP. MANY EVOLS, ESPECIALLY THE YOUNGER ONES, SECRETLY EXPERIMENTED WITH OTHER COLORS AND ONCE IN A WHILE THEY EVEN PAINTED THEIR FEET. FORTUNATELY, THIS WASN'T CONSIDERED A MAJOR CRIME. IT WAS JUST THE NORM AND WHEN NOT FOLLOWED, OTHER SEIDOBS JUDGED THE CULPRITS, SOMETIMES OUT LOUD, BUT ALWAYS IN THEIR MINDS. ACTUALLY, THESE SIEDOBS SPENT SO MUCH TIME KEEPING THE RULES, BREAKING THE RULES AND JUDGING WHO KEPT OR BROKE THE RULES THAT THEY REALLY HAD VERY LITTLE TIME FOR PLAY.
~ONE NIGHT, IN A DREAM, A YOUNG SEIDOB NAMED REDNOW SAW HERSELF FLYING. WHEN SHE AWAKENED SHE FELT EXHILIRATED, THOUGH SHE KNEW HER VISION WAS JUST ONE OF THOSE CRAZY THINGS THAT HAPPEN IN DREAMS. THAT'S WHY AS A RULE, DREAMING WAS HIGHLY DISCOURAGED. BUT SHE COULDN'T HELP IT. SHE HAD THE SAME DREAM EVERY NIGHT FOR THE NEXT FEW MONTHS UNTIL SHE STARTED HAVING THE DREAM DURING THE DAY TOO. SHE COULDN'T ASK HER MOTHER WHAT THIS COULD MEAN BECAUSE QUESTIONS ABOUT DREAMS WERE NOT ALLOWED EITHER AND HER MOTHER WAS A DEVOUT RULE KEEPER.
REDNOW KEPT DREAMING AND DAYDREAMING AND OFTEN, WITHOUT MEANING TO, SHE BROKE MANY RULES. SHE WALKED AROUND IN A DAZE AND WAS SOMETIMES SEEN SKIPPING AROUND WITH HER ARMS UP IN THE AIR. THIS WAS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN BECAUSE IT HAD NO PURPOSE THAT ANY SEIDOB COULD THINK OF. SHE WAS HARSHLY JUDGED BY OTHERS AND CONSTANTLY REPRIMANDED BY HER MOTHER. "WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO YOU IF YOU KEEP ON DREAMING? YOU MUST SNAP OUT OF WHATEVER IS GOING ON WITH YOU OR YOU'RE GOING TO WIND UP IN NUTSALOONEY. "
NUTSALOONEY WAS NOT A PLACE, IT WAS A MIND SET AND OF COURSE IT WAS FORBIDDEN. SEIDOBS WHO WERE THERE WERE IGNORED BY THE OTHERS BECAUSE IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE TO MAKE THEM KEEP THE RULES AND THEY WERE CONSIDERED THE WORST KIND OF RULE BREAKERS.
THE HOUSE WAS SILENT, AS ALWAYS, BECAUSE NO SEID0B WAS EVER ALLOWED TO STAY UP AFTER TEN. "WHERE IS THIS?!" SHOUTED REDNOW. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT SHE OPENED HER EYES TO FIND HERSELF SWIRLING IN DARKNESS. SHE COULD NOT FEEL ANYTHING AROUND HER, NOT EVEN THE GROUND, BUT SHE COULD FEEL MOVEMENT. SHE WAS BEING LIFTED UP BY A STRONG, INEXPLICABLE FORCE - SHE WAS FLYING. SUDDENLY, - - - POW! "OUCH! OH, I CAN ACTUALLY WALK ON THIS...WHAT IS THIS?...A FLOOR?" SHE SHOOK HERSELF FROM THE FRIGHT, AND GRADUALLY THE PERPLEXITY OF HER MAGICAL TRIP MADE A LITTLE SENSE. "I'M WALKING ON A WALL!"
THOUGH IT WAS DARK, REDNOW COULD SEE A SLIVER OF LIGHT COMING FROM A CRACK IN THE WALL. SHE WALKED TOWARDS IT AND SAW THAT SHE COULD SLIDE THROUGH IT. "I WONDER WHAT THERE IS OUT THERE?" FOR A QUICK MOMENT SHE WONDERED IF SHE MIGHT BE BREAKING ANY RULES, BUT IMMEDIATELY DISMISSED THE THOUGHT. "WHAT THE HECK, THERE ARE NO SEIDOBS AROUND TO JUDGE ME."
WHAT A SURPRIZE SHE HAD WHEN, AS SOON AS SHE SLID THROUGH THE CRACK, SHE WAS HURLED UP TO WHERE THERE WERE MANY EVOLS PLAYING AROUND AND HAVING FUN. ONE OF THEM, A YOUNG EVOL NAMED MODEERF, CAME STRAIGHT OVER TO HER. EVERYBODY ELSE WAS TOO BUSY PLAYING GAMES, BUT HE JUST HAPPENED TO NOTICE THAT REDNOW WAS STRANGE BECAUSE UNLIKE ALL THE OTHER EVOLS SHE WASN'T LAUGHING OR SMILING.
"HI, WHAT'S UP?" MODEERF GREETED REDNOW.
"APPARENTLY I AM," ANSWERED REDNOW WITH A LITTLE IRRITATION, WHICH WAS A TOTALLY FOREIGN ATTITUDE FOR MODEERF.
"WHERE AM I? WHY ARE YOU SO WEIRD? EVERYONE IS BREAKING A TON OF RULES. I MAY HAVE TO REPORT ALL OF YOU. HOW DID I GET HERE?" WHAT IS THIS PLACE?" REDNOW WAS UNABLE TO CONTAIN HER EMOTIONS - SHE WAS SCARED, ANXIOUS, ANGRY AND CONFUSED,
PATIENTLY MODEERF LISTENED THEN EXPLAINED AS MUCH AS HE COULD TO REDNOW. HE TOLD HER HE HAD HEARD OF A FEW WHO CAME FROM INSIDE HTRAE AND HAD SLID THROUGH THE CRACK IN THE BOX, ACTUALLY THE SPACE BETWEEN THE BOX AND THE LID OF THE BOX, WHICH WAS PROBABLY INTENDED TO KEEP THEM IN. THEY ALSO DID NOT REALIZE THAT THEY WERE REALLY EVOLS BUT ONCE THEY BECAME AWARE, THEY ALL LOVED BEING OUTSIDE HTRAE. HE HAD NEVER PERSONALLY MET ANYONE LIKE THAT AND COULD NOT REALLY ACCOUNT FOR TOO MUCH THAT EXPLAINED THE MYSTERY. HE WAS JUST HAPPY SHE WAS THERE AND COULD THEY START A GAME?
REDNOW SHRUGGED HER SHOULDERS AND COULDN'T WAIT TO START PLAYING. SHE LOVED NOT PAYING ATTENTION TO RULES AND TOLD HERSELF, "WHEN IN ROME..."
THAT VERY FIRST DAY MODEERF TAUGHT REDNOW HOW TO PLAY CHECKERS, TO ROLLERSKATE ON AIR, TO HIKE UP A SAND HILL AND THEN INSTEAD OF SLIDING DOWN THE HILL, SLIDING EVEN HIGHER. (HE EXPLAINED A LITTLE ABOUT GRAVITUTY.)
REDNOW WAS A GREAT STUDENT. SHE LEARNED TO PLAY, TO SMILE ALL THE TIME, TO LIKE HOW HER BODY FELT WHEN HER BELLY WENT IN AND OUT AS SHE LAUGHED, NOT AT ALL RESPECTABLY. SHE LOVED NOT BEING JUDGED AND DOING THINGS THAT DELIGHTED HER.
SHE LOVED BEING. SHE LOVED BEING AN EVOL. SHE LOVED MODEERF AND EVERYONE ELSE TOO. SHE DIDN'T MISS INNER HTRAE AT ALL AND GRADUALLY SHE FORGOT ABOUT IT BECAUSE SHE WAS SO ENTHRALLED BY WHATEVER GAME SHE WAS PLAYING AT THE TIME. IF WE WERE TO JUDGE HER STATUS, WE WOULD PROBABLY SAY SHE WAS HAPPY, OR MAYBE EVEN ECSTATIC.
ONE DAY AS SHE WAS TWIRLING AROUND, PLAYING WITH MODEERF, SHE WAS STARTLED BY WHAT FELT AS IF A BUCKET OF WATER HAD BEEN SPLASHED OVER HER. THE HARD SLAP OF THE WATER CAUSED HER TO TEMPORARILY CLOSE HER EYES AND WHEN SHE OPENED THEM, SHE FOUND HERSELF BACK IN INNER HTRAE STANDING ON THE GROUND OF THE GLOBE. SLOWLY THE SOUND OF HER MOTHER'S DISAPPROVING VOICE BECAME MORE AUDIBLE. "REDNOW!!! STOP YOUR DREAMING! COME BACK FROM YOUR NUTSALOONEY AND DO WHAT YOU SHOULD DO. FOLLOW THE RULES! FOLLOW THE RULES!"
SADLY, REDNOW PROCEEDED TO PAINT HER HANDS WITH DIRTUP. SHE THOUGHT SHE WAS STUPID TO HAVE LET HERSELF BECOME OVERTAKEN BY HER DREAMS. "WHAT'S THE USE?" SHE TOLD HERSELF AS TEARS STREAMED DOWN HER FACE. SHE VOWED TO APPLY HERSELF AND FOLLOW ALL THE RULES. SHE HOPED SHE WOULD NEVER DREAM AGAIN.
BUT THAT NIGHT SHE MAGICALLY FOUND HERSELF IN OUTER HTRAE, PLAYING WITH MODEERF. "WHAT ON HTRAE IS GOING ON?" SHE ASKED. MODEERF WAS QUITE CONFUSED HIMSELF BUT DID HIS BEST TO DECIFER WHAT WAS HAPPENING TO REDNOW AND CONSOLE HER ABOUT HER MYSTIFYING SITUATION."
"I'M NOT SURE," SAID MODEERF, " BUT IT SEEMS YOU ARE BLESSED OR CURSED WITH BEING ABLE TO LIVE ON OUTER HTRAE, OR INNER HTRAE. WHO KNOWS MAYBE SOME DAY YOU'LL GET TO CHOSE, BUT FOR NOW AT LEAST YOU ARE AWARE THAT THERE IS AN OUTER HTRAE WHERE I LIVE AND WHERE THERE IS NOTHING BUT FUN AND HAPPINESS AND YOU CAN PLAY AND INVENT ALL KINDS OF GAMES. WON'T YOU COME HERE AS OFTEN AS YOU CAN?" HIS LAST WORDS FADED.
AGAIN, REDNOW WAS SUDDENLY STANDING ON INNER HTRAE. SHE DIDN'T CRY THIS TIME EVEN THOUGH SHE ALREADY MISSED MODEERF. SHE KNEW WHAT SHE KNEW. SHE DECIDED SHE WOULD RESCIND HER VOW TO FOLLOW RULES AND INSTEAD DWELL IN HER DREAMS, WHERE SHE MAY HAVE MORE CHANCE OF GOING FREQUENTLY TO OUTER HTRAE. MIRACULOUSLY, REDNOW LEARNED TO THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX, TO BE OUTSIDE THE BOX AND SLOWLY SHE DEVELOPED THE SKILL TO COME AND GO FROM HER INNER TO HER OUTER WORLD. SHE DID HAVE A LITTLE TROUBLE FIGURING OUT WHEN SHE WAS DREAMING OR AWAKE BUT THAT DIDN'T MATTER TO HER. SHE GOT INTO THE HABIT OF TELLING ANY SEIDOB WHO WOULD LISTEN THAT HE OR SHE WAS REALLY AN EVOL,
AND SOME OF THEM ACTUALLY BELIEVED HER. IMAGINE. IMAGINE...
The Rules Association for Disease Control (RADC) has issued a warning for all seidobs to refrain from contact with anyone who is showing signs of the mental and physical disease, Nutsalooney. There may have been a sudden and mysterious strain mutation, which has caused the virus to become infectious. The RADC is recommending that everyone wash their hands as often as possible and cover their windows with duct tape.
A young woman, simply known as Rednow, a victim of the chronic illness, Nutsalooney, has mysteriously transmitted her condition to other residents of this planet. As many as 20 seidobs have been officially diagnosed with the malady after coming in contact with Ms. Rednow, who denies any wrongdoing. Dr. Tightbottom, the renowned Nutsalooney specialist, declares the outbreak is inexplicable. The exact number of seidobs contaminated is unknown due to the fact that families in shame tend to hide the existence of the illness when it attacks one of its members. The disease can often manifest as an overall feeling of good health with an inclination towards silence and solitude as well as a strong rejection of our established rules, and engagement in odd, non-acceptable behaviors that are most often associated with happiness syndrome.
Ms. Rednow's mother, states she does not know how her daughter contracted the disease, but asserts that it was not through contact with anyone who had it. "It began by her breaking some rules, then I noticed her drifting into space, like in a trance , dreaming and smiling for no reason. Now, she often does things that make no sense. The other day, she stopped her chores and started singing out loud. It upset the neighbors, of course, since singing is only allowed in the square on Friday evenings at 7 pm. I try to think how I may have caused this. Is it my fault? But I know I've tried to raise her right. I followed all the rules." The mother's interview ended abruptly because she had to stop her daughter from dancing.
The other currently diagnosed Seidobs have refused to talk to the media and have dispersed into privacy. However, Dr. Tightbottom assures us that he will diligently continue to study the matter and has requested permission from Ms. Rednow's parents to observe her. He states, "I intend to find out what is causing this disease to spread." However, he offers no explanations or theories as to how or why this debilitating and anti-social illness is growing.
We will continue to follow this story.(Seidob Syndicated Press Release)